Night time is the worst…


A few years ago, at this time I would be fast asleep awaiting a new fresh day.. Well tonight I’m lying here wishing I could close my eyes and stop the thoughts…

Does counting sheep work? I don’t think so because I have tried.. Nobody’s awake, all social media is quiet you feel like your the loneliest person in the world.

In Aug 2015, I lost my dad. He was a man who fought and fought his alcohol addiction til the addiction won and took over him..  All them arguments.. All the “stop da, give the drink up” or the phone calls would start with “have you a drink on you?” All now should’ve been me, supporting him.. But as a young girl I didn’t fully understand the effects alcohol has on the alcoholic.

besides the drinking I try to think of the positive days and memories which I had a good couple… It’s sad really your the child left behind whilst they are gone and out of pain… This is when reality hits and your pain starts!

I have had a few bad things happen me over the years, illnesses, deaths, and when the day came when I lost my dad, it was like I began to feel like a 7 year old girl again and my life was upside down.

Having a good support team behind you helps, but when it’s 5.30 am and your lying here with all the what if’s in your head it’s just another story.

No word describes it. I said today ah I’m busy all day il be fast asleep by 12… Boy was I wrong 😴

I could write more but for my first entry I think this one is enough… 😁😴 #thelifeofagrievingdaughter #theoneyouleavebehind